File Under: We’re Not in Indiana Anymore, Toto

4 Sep

For your amusement, excerpts from our insurance policy:

“Excluded Risks:
The consequences of insurrections or riots…and the consequences of brawls.
The results of wounds or injuries resulting from motor-vehicle racing and dangerous competitions in which betting is allowed.
The direct or indirect results of explosions, heat release, or irradiation produced by transmutation of the atmoic nucleus or by radioactivity or resulting from radiations produced by the artificial acceleration or nuclear particles.”

In other words, don’t nuke us, Dubya, our insurance doesn’t cover it.


10 Responses to “File Under: We’re Not in Indiana Anymore, Toto”

  1. DaD September 4, 2007 at 2:32 pm #

    Hummmm……… I assume that’s your car insurance policy regarding driving in Cairo.


  2. tracy m September 4, 2007 at 9:34 pm #

    Wow. Just, wow.

  3. Melissa September 4, 2007 at 9:54 pm #

    We just took a taxi home from across the city. For about a mile our driver was going 80 while hanging out the window having an in-depth conversation with a guy on a motorcyle who was about 2 inches from the side of the car. I wanted to get it on video but was afraid my camera light would startle the motorcycle guy and sending him careening off into the hundred other cars zooming by. It was so bizarre, I just couldn’t stop giggling.

  4. Jeff September 4, 2007 at 11:18 pm #

    I remember seeing that on our homeowners policy.

    “Honey, if we get nuked, we are just plain out of luck. You ok with that?”

    I wonder how much an ICBM rider would be…

  5. mom September 5, 2007 at 12:13 am #

    Come home.

  6. Aunt Yvette September 5, 2007 at 12:19 am #

    Melissa and Patrick,
    Grandpa just gave me the info on your blog and I’ve read it all with awe. I agree with your friend about Cairo perhaps being the inspiration for your first novel. I am incredibly jealous and proud of both of you. I can’t wait to hear more. Nic has asked about his cousins that live in Eygpt, and I will read your letters to him as his goodnight stories. They are so vivid, I am sure that he will have dreams of dusty, hot streets and exotic smells. Please, we need more! Love,

  7. Uncle David September 5, 2007 at 11:29 am #

    Well, Yvette was raving about your eventure in blogville so I had to read it. Please don’t take my insomnia’s timing as an excuse to be on the net as any comment on your page’s value. Though, I must say your parent’s comments on your giving birth to little Mormon Mini-me were very amusing as are your mother’s repeated pleas for you to come home. I love the page, but I think it’s time for Melissa to get a job. An un-numbered taco stand would be good. Just the vision of her pounding out tortillas or pasting corn husks for tamale’s might put her on the cover of Cairo Monthly or The Egyptian Fine Dining Magazine. I don’t think that a social magazine would work (as a rule Burka chics are not that exciting in print). Anyway, we are counting down the 3 months to see when culture shock sinks in and your think of clicking your Ruby slippers to the nearest Wal-Mart (with a McDonald’s of course). As for the insurance policy, that’s just standard language, your still covered in case of camel attacks, so be happy.

  8. Melissa September 5, 2007 at 1:35 pm #

    Uncle David, great idea! I think I’ll get started on my little taco stand. And once the kid is born, I can send him through traffic with boxes of chicle. The money will come rolling in…

  9. Dre September 5, 2007 at 7:26 pm #

    Re: your concerns about not being covered in case of a nuclear attack, you may want to give some thought to my philosophy here in Earthquake Country. That is, I hope and pray that I’ll be buried in the first big upheaval so that I won’t have to get stuck with cleanup duty, as well as having to try to collect on insurance which, of course, doesn’t cover earthquakes and other Acts of God. Don’t know if there’s anything in there about Acts of Dubya.

  10. becca September 6, 2007 at 7:30 pm #


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