Here and There

13 Jun

Time has been passing by really quickly. I’m shocked to find that it’s summer. Not just summer, but middle of June. I feel like I’ve been through a 4-month time warp.

All the twin parents say that the first few months is a blur. They aren’t kidding. I try to think back to specific events and find that I can’t remember very much. It’s like my memory is full of holes. I’ve said it here before,Β  but I feel like I’ve been wandering in a fog for months and months.

Things have started to get a lot better. The babies have really developed personality and have grown chubby and distinct. They smile constantly and Rhett is a chatterbox- unfortunately he likes to have conversations late at night when he has my undivided attention. Now I know how Patrick feels when he’s trying to sleep and I keep talking to him.

The post-partum depression has lifted, for the most part. Good riddance. It’s nice to feel like myself again. Although I tried to avoid medication and was really hesitant to start it, I think it was the best thing I did. My mood baseline lifted enough for me to feel like I could get through the hard parts. Sometimes I feel angry because I feel like I was robbed of the beautiful early moments of newborns. But it is what it is. From this point forward, I feel like I can be a good mother to all my kids and not unreasonably convince myself otherwise.

So what else has been going on around here? As you know, we were out in Utah for awhile following Mike’s surgery and passing. It was a difficult and sad thing to say goodbye to Mike but also very beautiful to gather with family and celebrate his life. The funeral was amazing. The church was jam-packed and all the Mason brothers gave wonderful eulogies. Patrick and LeAnn played a moving duet of “Sheep Will Safely Graze” on the piano. It was a great tribute and left us with a great sense of peace.

Despite the circumstances, it was really nice to be out there and spend time with family. I love the Masons, they’re a lot of fun and I love for Finn to spend time with his cousins. We had been talking about going out there this summer so the twins could meet everyone and I had been dreading it because the idea of traveling with all the kids gives me hives. Because it was an emergency and all we cared about was getting there, I didn’t have time to worry about traveling with them though. Patrick called to let me know we needed to get out there, tickets were booked, bags were packed, and we were on our way to the airport within three hours. The twins slept most of the flight and Finn was a ball of happy energy who kept Patrick’s mind off worrying and on preventing him from pressing the flight attendant call button six million times.

A funny note from the plane: when Finn was eating the complimentary Cheese Nips, he held one up and shouted “hexagon!” We didn’t even know he knew that word. He knows octagon too and can tell the difference between the two. Freaky kid.

Anyways, I’m giddy with anticipation because in two weeks Patrick and I are going on a trip. Oooh, how I love to travel (without children)! We are spending ten days traveling all around Turkey!!! There’s an organization that leads groups on a Turkish adventure in the name of promoting goodwill and international friendship. Works for me. They contacted Patrick and his boss Scott and invited them, Scott’s assistant Barb, who we love, and me.

We loved Istanbul when we were there a couple years ago and are excited to spend quality time there. We’re also visiting Ephesus, Ankara, Cappadocia and several other areas around Turkey.

Despite my excitement, it was hard to make the decision to go. Leaving the kids for ten days is something that I’m avoiding thinking about because it makes me sick. I’ve been assured by fellow parents and my therapist (that sounds so Woody Allen) that the kids will be totally fine. My parents are coming out to stay with them the whole time so the kids will have plenty of love and attention. I feel like this will be my chance to recharge, get quality sleep and do something for myself, thus returning a happier mama.

So I’m feeling good these days with that to look forward to and other summer fun around the corner. As I’ve mentioned many times, I love South Bend in the summer. There are so many fairs and festivals going on, there’s fresh fruit to pick with the kids, Finn loves going to the lake, the zoo is around the corner. So much fun to be had. I’m seriously limited in where I can go with three kids while Patrick is at work, but with the help of friends and a mother’s helper that we’re thinking about getting one day a week, I think we’ll be able to manage. So lots of adventures to report on coming up.

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2 Responses to “Here and There”

  1. Kirsten Christensen June 13, 2010 at 9:32 pm #

    Happy Summer to all of you, Melissa!

    It was such a delight to see you and your beautiful family a few weeks back, if only for a few minutes. And what a particular honor to have been able to meet Patrick’s dad then, too. Even in my short visit he was such a powerful, loving presence. So sweet to see him with your babies. I am so sorry that he is gone from this world but grateful that you all had his influence in it and will continue to be blessed by it.

    And have a fantastic time in Turkey! What a wonderful opportunity. Recharging is a beautiful thing! Good travels to you and Patrick and your friends!

  2. Nancy June 14, 2010 at 5:25 am #

    Ack! Turkey! So jealous…we’re flying through on our way home but don’t have enough time to go out into the city. I loved Istanbul, too. Have SO much fun!

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