Though She Be But Little…

Willa Hope. From the moment I woke up in the hospital, I was asked what her name was. I don’t know! I thought we had more time! When I heard the NICU Dr had started referring to her as “Princess” I knew we had to choose quickly.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow…

It’s getting hard to smile. Even when I want to, I find that just the corners of my lips turn up, like Jack Nicholson’s Joker. My face feels slack. I feel slack.

I promised myself I would be open about post-partum depression. Awareness is good, right? The more we talk about it, the less alone we’ll feel, the less stigmatizing it seems. This is all great in theory. Actually sharing how I’m feeling is more difficult. I’m not sure yet if I’ll publish or delete this.

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Patience

I was scrolling through Patrick’s phone a few nights ago, looking at photos of things I’ve missed in the last few weeks- the kids’ trip to a Space Museum and Finn’s Cub Scout hike. As I swiped past photos of my kids, one picture came up that made me pause. It was me but it took me a second to realize it.