The Aftermath

2 Nov

So I think the twins shock is finally starting to wear off,  if that’s even possible. We’ve gotten used to the idea and started doing our research. We still have many momentary panics as we realize yet another way that life will be completely changed, but we figure that we wouldn’t be blessed with these babies if we couldn’t handle them. And my mantra from Finn’s early months is being resurrected when I need reassurance: “Stupider women than me have done this.” If I knew how to cross-stitch, that would definitely go on a pillow.

We’ve gone through every single book on twins that our local library has to offer and found a couple of really helpful ones that we might accidentally “lose.” (Just kidding, library nazis! We’ll go buy them.) The best ones are written by people who have had twins, as we’re learning what a unique experience it really is.

One of the first chapters I read in one of the books covered mean or insensitive comments. I turned to Patrick in disbelief and said “would people really make mean comments about this?” It turns out yes, yes they will. I think before I knew I was having twins some of these would seem innocous to me but trust me, the following are obnoxious. I’ve added my thoughts in parenthesis:

  • “You’re having twins?! I would just die if I were you!!” (then do)
  • “Oh that sucks”
  • “Sorry”
  • “I hope you’re done with kids now!” (none of your damn business)
  • “I don’t know how you can possibly handle this!” (it’ll be easier than biting my tongue everytime you make a rude comment)
  • “You’re going to be huge!” (yeah, what’s your excuse?)

Just think twice before you rain on someone’s parade. That’s is all.

We’ve started to make a list of various gear that we’ll be needing. Luckily we can recycle or improvise with a lot of Finn’s things. And we found out the news just as garage sale season was ending so I was able to find a car seat and base, a cushy bouncy chair, a plethora of blankets, and a $150 double stroller- all for $50 total. When I think back on what valuable life lessons I took out of living in Cairo, bargaining until people say uncle is probably the best one.

Now that they’ve been found out, the twins have stopped hiding. I feel like I’ve doubled in size since the ultrasound. Though I have my moments where I feel like a house, I know that I’m not quite at that point yet. Really, I’m just happy because my tummy has rounded out in that cozy way that makes me feel maternal and nurturing.

Our midwives, who I totally loved, cut us loose. Twin pregnancy is “high-risk” so I’ve been referred to an OB. I found one that was very highly recommended and both Patrick and I liked him a lot. He was a little defensive about not being a midwife- you could definitely see the tension that exists between them and OBs through his comments. I think though that he was just trying to reassure us that he would be sensitive to what we want  and was expecting us to think he was the big, bad medical establishment. He looked for the heartbeats and the babies personalities that came through in the ultrasound were confirmed. He checked girl baby’s first and immediately said “wow, this is a fiesty one!” Apparently she was turning and squirming the whole time. Baby boy was once again calm and cooperative. It was remarkable to us to see the consistancy in their behavior and we’re pretty positive that as children, they’ll show the same traits.

One of the perks of two babies, one of each, is that we get to pick two names. Admit it, name-picking is so much fun, people usually do it years before they even think about kids. We’ve been scouring the books and have come up with a short list for boy baby and an even shorter list for girl baby. Once we’ve narrowed it down, I promise I’ll fill you in on the contenders.

So a bunch of people I know are doing Nablopomo, which I thought was some polynesian ritual until I googled it and it’s a challenge to blogpost every day for a month. Stop laughing. I could do it if I set my mind to it. I might even try, just watch me. There’s lots to say, so don’t be surprised to see Texas vacation, Halloween, fall festivities, more twin anxiety, etc posted in the coming days. I have pictures of Finn’s mariachi costume that are dying to be unleashed.

Oh ok, here’s one, just to whet your appetite.

IMG_3739

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7 Responses to “The Aftermath”

  1. mom November 2, 2009 at 11:48 pm #

    Just think to yourself “There but for the grace of God (and my mother beating manners into me) go I”.

    Ay cositas de grandmáma! More pictures! More pictures!

  2. Nancy November 3, 2009 at 12:16 am #

    i like that mantra and may well adopt it. I’m just excited for you to have a girl, as long as she has Finn’s hair–I don’t know about you but I was always tempted to see how he’d look in pig tails.

    Another boy will be fun, too. And calm babies are the bomb, so at least you get one of ’em!

    And I don’t think I’ve had one coherent thought since having Miriam, so bear with me while I ramble on in your comments section. 🙂

  3. Grandma LeAnn November 3, 2009 at 2:05 am #

    Ditto Luisa: More pictures! More pictures! That’s gotta be the cutest Halloween costume (and kid) ever!

  4. Jillian November 3, 2009 at 2:47 am #

    Did you make that costume for Finn? It’s adorable!!

  5. Laila November 6, 2009 at 7:28 pm #

    You are going to have a blast with twins!! My cousins are identical twins and they are so much fun for everyone in my family, including their parents. When they were toddlers, together they were like a pair of mischievous devils, and were constantly doing naughty things (like using each other as a step ladder to empty out the ENTIRE fridge on the kitchen floor), but if you separated them they suddenly became shy little angels hehe. Divide and conquer.
    Speaking of annoying comments, I remember my uncle telling me the most obnoxious comment he got with the twins (and probably still gets today) from random people is “oh my God are they twins????” Last time he just answered “no they are just friends, but they spend so much time together they look identical.” P.S. the costume is soooooo adorable!

  6. Jo November 6, 2009 at 9:12 pm #

    What an outstanding (and adorable) costume!

    Among my favorite stupid comments/questions:

    “Are they identical?” (believe me, even when you say they are a boy and a girl, someone will follow up with that question — this is what I think they call “unclear on the concept”)

    “Which one is the good one?” (speechless)

    “Better you than me!” (yes, I think, most definitely!)

    … and one of my favorites:

    “Are they natural?” (NO! totally synthetic! But so lifelike, don’t you think?)

    🙂

  7. Melissa November 6, 2009 at 9:59 pm #

    ha!

    Ok, now I can’t wait to get that question!!

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